orange cake / snowball cake
FRIDAY, DECEMBER 6th. NOISY WITH A CHANCE OF CAKE. HIGH 60˚, LO 42˚F.
happy with a chance of tears
Emma’s birthday party rapidly unfolding at Sassafras bar in Hollywood… Expect unusually chilly wind and a line outside the door… Bouncer warns that anyone entering with a cake carrier will only be allowed entry unless they “clean it all up,” not realizing girl he’s addressing cleans up cake in bars on a regular, unrelenting basis… Past the entrance of the bar, heightened volume of live music and density of the crowd present a threat to singing happy birthday over cake and serving it with ulterior motives… It is advised to wait out the storm… Take note of Emma the birthday girl crying happy tears… She’s enjoyed several drinks and has become overcome with emotion… Once guests can be safely served orange cake, the variety of which Emma has requested, orient yourself with the surrounding groups at the bar to seek out more cake takers… The heightened volume may impede engagement with others… Refrain from screaming in strangers’ ears… Disregard looks of suspicion… Should someone stop you on your way out the door after all supplies have been packed up, make an offer to cut a piece… If stranger says don’t worry about it, use your own discretion.
SATURDAY, DECEMBER 7th. TOO COLD TO GO TO THE DEN. HIGH 59˚, LO 44˚F.
Flurry of drink options, mozzarella sticks, meatballs, and chocolate chip cookies appears at Liz and Ale’s holiday party… Party guests wear terrible sweaters and door prizes are available… Guests convince the girl with the cake carrier the weather is too cold and the hour is too late to take her cake to a bar, and to retrieve it from her vehicle and serve it inside… A piece is offered to the delivery man at the front door on her way back into the party, and he says no, thank you, most likely following company policy and safety precautions… It is revealed upon serving that the cake is only half homemade, pudding cake from an area grocery store with homemade cream cheese frosting to mask the evidence… There are no serious repercussions associated with this confession… The girl with the cake carrier serves a piece to someone she recognizes as her former neighbor and his friend, who shares her last name… The resulting pictures are evidence of her new acquaintances and co-workers enjoying the spoils of this unintentional snowball cake.