ugly but unstoppable
Are you cringing because this cake looks kind of like a torso or a face? I know I am, and I ate it. A lot of it. And so did a lot of boys this week. This was the least attractive cake I’ve ever made but it got the best results.
And probably because it had alcohol in it.
I owe my friend Courtland a big thank you for suggesting I make a Harvey Wallbanger cake– I guess you really can’t go wrong with vodka, orange juice, and vanilla pudding mix. Even the glaze had vodka. While the cake looked funny because I (shocker) don’t own a bundt pan, it tasted absolutely incredible. People couldn’t get over how good it was, so maybe this is why the guys we invited over for cake stuck around.
Round Eight started at Harvard & Stone in Hollywood, where I was TURNED AWAY holding my little cake tray at 11:15 after helping my bosses shoot a wedding for most of the day. The bar does not let outside food in– even for a cake fee– so my five awesome friends gave up their table inside and we continued on to Happy Endings, where one of their convenient connections got us in with the cake. Going to Happy Endings was like revisiting a conglomeration of everywhere I’ve ever been. It was kind of like being in high school, but also like being in college, but also like being at a hostel, and also like being in a Mexican restaurant. Maybe this is because it used to be an El Torito chain. I couldn’t categorize any of the people around us but they were strangely familiar, and my friend Ashley and I were totally fascinated by their dancing, since most of them were dancing by themselves.
There was a surfer guy in a flannel shirt and shorts we invited over who ate almost 4 pieces of cake. There was a bouncer who came over for a piece, and a bouncer we took a piece back to. There was a group of boys playing beer pong nearby who seemed nervous and never took us up on our invitation. And then there were the guys in suits.
Ashley and I had spotted a girl in short shorts whose body was ninety percent supermodel legs dancing with an Indian guy in a three piece suit. Not only was he dancing, (points), he was with a group of guys who were also wearing suits (so many points). “We must go talk to them.” They had just come from The Edison downtown, hence the dressing up, and when we invited them back to our table for cake, they totally abandoned anyone they were dancing with to follow us, reaffirming my mission statement: boys who have been drinking should gravitate towards free dessert. These guys, friends from an all boys school in LA, ate the cake, posed for pictures, and danced on and around us until the bar closed. One of them asked for my email address (not my phone number– so something kind of ridiculous I would do) so we’ll see if he follows up. He gets good marks for dancing, and even better ones for being a working actor with a regular person job, modestly mentioning he has a small part in a movie coming out soon.
One more guy came up to talk to me while I was waiting for the valet. “‘Scuse me, sweetheart, I just saw your posture and something said I just had to come talk to you.” Now’s a good time to mention that I have bad, if not noticeably bad posture. My sweet Swiss chiropractor told me I walk with my head too far forward, like I’m searching for something. “Oh, how nice. Thank you. That’s very sweet.” “You look really fine.” “I’m just dressed up from a wedding.” This guy looked me up and down in my jean jacket and black dress, told me I looked as good as a word I’m not going to write here, and then left.
So thanks for making me feel better about my posture, Stranger Danger. Too bad I didn’t have any cake left to give you on your way out.
***This week’s cake was made from Lillian Boga’s recipe for a Harvey Wallbanger Cake.
the bouncer and laurie
all star cast