wedding times
# must love weddings

My sister and I were driving somewhere last Christmas, talking about our family friend getting married.

“Who do you think your bridesmaids would be?” she asked me.

“You know, I have so many wonderful friends, but I think I would just want you up there with me,” I told her.

chrissy and jenny, hostess with the mostest
chrissy and jenny, hostess with the mostest

“Well,” she said, “I am really pretty.” And then she scream laughed, Audrey Shulman style. Maybe only half kidding.

Of the two of us, I think she should be the writer.

When I heard that there would be a dessert bar at Chrissy’s brother’s wedding, I couldn’t help but see it as an opportunity for cakebarring, (and shameless self-promotion). Don’t people like, meet at weddings all the time?

Chrissy and I flew to Wisconsin last weekend for the marriage of Bill and Amber, (or Bamber, if you will), and Chrissy’s sweet parents picked us up in a giant vehicle they had rented to shuttle us all around in. This made our entire wedding weekend feel like a combination field trip/ family road trip, with Chrissy’s high school friend Jenny and me as stand-in children buckled into the way way back seat.

chrissy and mr. o, pre-wedding march
chrissy and mr. o, pre-wedding march

Baking a cakebarring cake for the wedding posed a slight challenge, as we were staying at a hotel with a stove, but no oven. While we considered making no bake desserts to bring with us to the reception, I sold out and went for tastefully decorated store bought cakes while Chrissy made a Twinkies and Ho Hos platter, (which was, of course, instantly consumed by jubilant wedding goers).

I hadn’t been to a wedding as an adult before, as most of my experiences are from family weddings growing up, where I was a nervous flower girl or bespectacled, androgynous looking 12-year-old. I should have known what would happen during the ceremony– the very same thing that happens whenever my bosses show me recent pictures of their children– I had a very hard time not crying, and had to do that weird thing with my mouth where you’re stifling tears and smiling at the same time.

Weddings are the best!

handsome military man
handsome military man

Crying or no crying, we all had an amazing time, dancing to the polka band and joining the Polish Wedding March, which consists of downing brandy and screaming “Jeszcze nasza!” This war cry translates to “She’s still ours!” I asked Chrissy’s sweet cousin Chuck, the older gentleman responsible for ringleading, who “she” was. Is “she” the bride? Is “she” Poland? “I don’t know,” he said, before jumping right back into his passionate, belligerent shouting.

While most of my cakes were gone by the time I made it back to the dessert table, I was able to offer pieces to several young men. There was the handsome military man from Virginia, conveniently seated behind me at dinner, who had excellent social skills until he made it to the bar. While it didn’t take much to coax him into eating some cake for a picture, he had some really interesting things to say about my blog. “So like, no one’s actually reading your blog, then… it’s just like, salt in the salt shaker.” What? I asked if I could film him saying this, but then he got handsy, so our friend Jenny and I had to jump ship.

I also offered pieces to some relatives of the bride, who seemed totally up for being documented, and then promptly lost interest. (One of them did help me clean up spilled cake after his effort to feed me some of it did not work. Maybe they disengaged because they were ashamed.)

All I know is I love Wisconsin, and I super love weddings. My friend’s mother-in-law once told me that I didn’t usually get married in my past lives. If it’s not in the cards for me this time around, that’s okay; I’ll just be happy to celebrate at other people’s weddings as long as I get to dance and participate. Now that I think about it, no wonder I like force feeding people cake so much. It’s a little weddingish: an implied celebration with good company and romantic intent.

In lieu of a recipe this week, I’ll close with the hip hip hurray news that Chrissy finished her joint chemo and radiation treatment last week, and danced the entire wedding reception. She’s such a baller.

friendly midwesterners
friendly midwesterners
me with stellar cancer patient and bridesmaid extraordinaire, chrissy
me with stellar cancer patient and bridesmaid extraordinaire, chrissy!
wait, how did this get in here
wait, how did this get in here?!
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  1. I had to read the salt shaker line three times and I still can’t wrap my head around it!

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