ROUND 21 – CAKEBOWLING & TRUCKING

crowd pleasers
crowd pleasers
me, cake, and evie
me, cake, and (excited!) evie

Some comments seem to be floating around that I’m looking for a boyfriend in the wrong place. Who would want to meet someone in a bar? She must be like, super desperate. But after mixing things up this weekend– taking a show stopping candy-filled cake to an outdoor concert and a popular food truck– I maintain that bars are the best place to locate an excess of single young men.

Next week I will try a church potluck.

Because I failed to make a cake on Friday night, I decided to incorporate our cakebarring into seeing Pink Martini at the Hollywood Bowl. The Bowl is a beautiful outdoor concert venue where people bring picnic baskets and wine, so I thought sitting in close proximity to strangers would be a good way to go. My friend Becky had given me this recipe for chocolate chip cheesecake squares– surefire crowd pleasers– from a cookbook whose cover depicts a sugar cookie popping out of the author’s bra. (Inspirational!) I made these as a cake, not even freezing it as instructed because (as usual) I was running behind, but I managed to top it all off with our current candy collection: what you see over there is Buncha Crunch, Raisinettes, Whoppers, and Milk Duds. (Junior Mints were disqualified.)

hollywood bowl loveliness
hollywood bowl loveliness

Chrissy, her sister Katie, and our dearest friend Evie set out with the best of intentions. Should we have given our parking attendant some cake on our way in? Probably. What about the security guards, and high school student ushers? Yep. Them, too. Because not only would this have alleviated some of the weight of the cake, but we found ourselves in not conducive cakebarring circumstances once we took our nosebleed section seats. We were surrounded by mostly middle-aged couples in large groups, and while I love middle-aged couples as much as the next raised right person, I’m not really looking to date any of them. It got dark so fast and the music was so fantastic that it would have been both suspicious and highly inappropriate for us to comb the aisles looking for boys to offer cake to out of our little pan.

But we love Pink Martini. So it didn’t matter.

caketrucking or lack thereof
caketrucking (or lack thereof)

One-of-a-kind Evie, along for her first cakebarring mission, volunteered to go with me to a food truck afterwards to see if I could drum up any luck. Despite my optimism, our pool of customers at 12:30am was limited to off duty security guards and older Hispanic men with girlfriends or children. We looked very odd standing there taking in the food truck patrons, not ordering burritos, and having left the cake in our car. Excuse me– would you like a piece of cheesecake with those tacos? It’s back in our car– over there– yeah, you’d have to go over there with us. You’re good? Oh. Okay.

Bars are way easier.

I got to talk to Ryan Seacrest about cakebarring on his morning show last week (for reals, you guyz!), and it was a very thrilling couple of minutes for me. I was hoping to send him and Ellen K some cake, but I’m worried they don’t eat cake, and even if they do, they might be unable to accept it because fans bearing food gifts are probably regarded as cuckoo crazy poisoners. HOWEVER. I was able to pawn off this week’s leftover cake to a cakebarring victim we tracked down who will go unnamed (Bo). It was said person who called in the morning show first to report the whole cakebarring scandal. And then this girl offered us some birthday cake at a bar… but it really wasn’t anyone’s birthday! Ryan Seacrest asked him if he was mad– isn’t this kind of a scam? And said person, a stand-up guy, thinks about it and says, We got free cake out of it and made some friends… They’re all nice people.

evie listening to me on ryan seacrest
evie listening to me on ryan seacrest

Everyone wins when you cakebar, right? Except maybe the diabetics. Better think of something to start bringing for them.

Chocolate Chip Cheesecake Squares From Lisa G.’s Sex, Lies & Cookies

Ingredients:

1-2 rolls of store-bought chocolate chip cookie dough

2 8 oz. packages of cream cheese (at room temperature)

1 cup sugar

2 eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla

8-10 oz. candy toppings (M&M’s, toffee bits, chocolate chips, etc.) options

Directions:

1) Line a 9 x 13 inch pan with parchment paper so that it overhangs on the short ends of the pan- this way the bars will easily lift out after baking.

2) Take slices of cookie dough (or crumble dough with hands) and press together on the bottom of the pan to make one smooth later.

3) Mix cream cheese and sugar. Add eggs, then vanilla.

4) Pour mixture over the cookie crust and smooth with a spatula.

5) Top with any candy topping you like. Note: Alternatively, you can use a second roll of cookie dough and place slices on top of the cream cheese mixture to form another cookie layer. Don’t worry about neatness, the rounds will bake together here, and looks aren’t important in this recipe. You have other things on your mind. (It really says this! )

6) Bake for 30-35 minutes.

7) Let cool. Place in freezer until frozen, then remove from pan and slice into 16 bars or 32 bite-sized squares.

Since there was no oven temperature given, I tried 350 degrees for 35 minutes. The cake was also great served hot before I froze it and cut it into bars.

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